Met a girl at a bar while I was in college. She was a 10 out of 10. We went back to my place. She blindfolded me on my couch, went to the fridge, and poured Grey Poupon all over my chest and she licked it all off. Was so turned off I called her a cab home. -Mooks555

Dude tried to give me a shoulder rub while taking me from behind. Looking at you, Steven. -GTFOakaFOD

A guy did literal pushups on top of me, no pelvic thrusts lol. -creepydeadgirl

A hookup asked me to rub where her dad shot her. I wish I was a troll. -IceHorse69

Had sex with this girl and she had a pendant with the ashes of her dad on and it kept bumping on my head when she was on top. -astraycatsmilkyway

Her dad walking in after I'd literally just finished. She still had (just) a skirt on but there’s me standing proud and looking very pleased with myself. He stammered "sorry" and closed the door. Needless to say dinners afterwards were interesting. -alpubgtrs234

Hooked up with an Italian guy who refused to take his large gold chain off. It swung so hard it hit me in the face and gave me a black eye. -wanditabonita

Masturbating and not realizing I’d touched poison oak. -Poorly-Drawn-Beagle

One girl's meth-dealing brother broke into her apartment while we were doing the deed, and then told me that I was on his turf so I had to enjoy his company until he wanted to leave. I had not met him previously.

Edit - No, he did not want to watch his sister bang, he was asking for food or money or something, I forget. -Jefffahfffah

My ex-girlfriend who thought that giving a handjob consists of pulling down the foreskin as far as possible with the most violent strokes. -MYNAMEISHENDRIK

Ex decided to be fancy and she took a mouthful of champagne before giving me a blowjob. Bubbles from the champagne went up my d*ck hole. Incredibly painful, don't recommend. -Ninja_badgers

Thought it would be hot to get slapped in the face, so I asked to be slapped in the face. I was promptly slapped in the face.

I found out very quickly I do not enjoy being slapped in the face. -Impastaz72

Ahh, my ex was once fingering me after we had chopped a bunch of jalapeños to make chili.

PSA: washing your hands twice is NOT enough. -Manatee3232

Probably a guy that wrapped his legs around my head while I went down on him. He squeezed so tight to the point where I couldn’t breathe. My lizard brain started to panic so I bit down to make him stop so I could breathe. -daedrictofu

A guy told me to go see a doctor because I didn't c*m LOL. -rae_gun_

My roommate was in a dry spell but was really interested in a woman we would see at the bar. She was always with her roommate, who was very protective and wouldn't let her friend stay out past 12 AM.

The guardian roommate also could have been a goblin. So, I decided to flirt with her to keep them out later and let my roomie have a chance. It worked, and they went home together. But then the Great Goblin decided I should come home with her. Thinking that a "no" would mean she gets home angry and kills whatever my roomie had going, I decide to go along.

I mean, I never said "no", but I didn't enjoy any part of that experience. She poured wax on me (and herself), tried to convince me to go bareback, and then said I wasn't big enough to get her off and had me use a baseball bat-size tentacle toy on her. -Minute_Cartoonist509

He put on latex gloves and lube which I thought was weird but I kinda ignored it, and then he shoved a breath mint up my a** without telling me. -Sea-Biscotti

He tried spitting in my mouth without discussion or a heads up. I opened my eyes to see him spitting so I quickly turned my head as a reflex and he spit in my ear. -DexterKillsMe

I met up with a guy, older than me. He took me back to his house, his mom's house. We did the deed then I see red and blue lights on the wall through the window.

The University police came to find me. I lost my phone outside my dorm and when they couldn't find me they called my parents who called my aunt who worked for the university. She had the university police track his number used to call my phone to try to locate it. Was taken back to the police department where my aunt was waiting for me around midnight. It was not a good night. -EstelSnape

I was in Spain and I didn't speak Spanish very well yet (I'm Italian). While I was on top I told her "I need to go" meaning "I'm about to c*m" (poor translation choice). She couldn't believe her ears, she thought I was ditching her while I was still inside of her, so she got super mad and kicked me out. -AverageEnzodoEnjoyer

A female stranger that I had met online for a hook up neglected to inform me that she had a problem with flatulence when she had an orgasm.

The first one came as I was giving her oral. She ripped a massive fart pretty much directly into my mouth. It was horrible.

Being a gentleman, I pressed on. For the next hour or so, I got my balls farted on no less than 10 times. We didn't see each other again. -Complete_Fan_1477